


Self Challenge Tumblr Prompts

by SarcasticSmiler



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, chapters come with individual warnings if needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 18:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticSmiler/pseuds/SarcasticSmiler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of prompts from tumblr I've challenged myself to cover using a focus on Nori and/or Nwalin</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> The prompts can be found [here](http://sarcasticsmilerrandomness.tumblr.com/post/142092543187/ridiculous-sentence-prompts). Since it's kind of a pointless endeavour to go 'send me a prompt!' over on tumblr, I've decided to challenge myself with going through those prompts with a focus on Nori/Nwalin. Really it's just something to do when I'm a little stuck on other stuff, so they'll only be short little things.  
> These won't be in the order they appear on that list. Though that being said, the first one here is the first one there.
> 
> First prompt - ‘Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all my cereal and faked your death for three years!’  
> Warnings - contains allusions to suicide

Dwalin’s jaw clicked as he yawned, shuffling through the kitchen with sleep blurred vision he narrowly avoided colliding with the table. Scratching absent-mindedly at the edges of the latest tattoo to adorn his chest, he frowned at the open cupboard before him.

His cereal was missing.

His Weetabix and Frosties. Gone.

Even his secret stash of Coco Pops had been pilfered.

Slamming the cupboard door with more force than necessary, Dwalin turned with a huff only for his eyes to connect with someone that shouldn’t be there.

Nori.

Nori was sitting on his kitchen counter, grinning at him around the spoon in his mouth, a small trickle of chocolate milk escaping to soak into his short beard.

Dwalin would deny it when later asked, but at that moment all the blood drained from his face and he screamed like the victim from a cheap horror film before promptly passing out.

He came too but a few moments later, a warm hand gently slapping his cheek as Nori’s voice reached his ears.

“Come on, Dwalin, wakey wakey. Rise and shine, big man.”

“Nori…” he groaned, eyes fluttering open to fix on the red head hovering above him.

“And he lives!” Nori joked.

“I could say the same about you,” Dwalin growled, anger sparking in his veins.

“Hey, don’t get mad,” Nori whined, scooting away from Dwalin, hands palm out in surrender, “Dori’s already pissed enough at me, I don’t need you getting angry too.”

“Seriously?” Dwalin staggered to his feet, only to drop into a chair at the table, glaring at Nori, “You’re meant to be dead! I carried your coffin! I mourned you! Only to find you sitting in my kitchen, eating all my cereal like the last three years never happened?!”

“I’m sorry, alright? I had to disappear for a while, and that was the only option I had. I left a note, I thought you’d understand it,” Nori shrugged.

“You absolute fucking _arsehole_! We thought that was a suicide note! For _three years_ I thought…I thought…” Dwalin choked, tears spilling unchecked down his cheeks.

“Oh fuck,” panic filled Nori as the man he loved broke down, rushing across the small space between them, Nori wrapped his arms around him, “Don’t cry, I’m here now, don’t cry.”

Wrapping his own arms tightly around Nori’s slim waist, Dwalin buried his face in the crook of his neck, tears soaking into the thin t-shirt Nori was wearing.

“Never again,” he demanded through his tears, “Don’t you _ever_ do something like this to me again.”

“I won’t, I promise. This time I’m here to stay till I die for real.”


	2. Dead?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - ‘You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen’

It was half three in the morning and Dori was thirsty. Wandering through to the kitchen, he let out a resigned sigh as he tripped over the prone form blocking the doorway.

“Nori,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. All he wanted was some water, it was definitely too early to be dealing with his troublesome brother.

“Yes, Dori?” Nori sounded far too nonchalant for Dori’s liking, sitting at the table, sipping a steaming mug of tea.

“You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”

“What? Oh! He’s not dead.”

“He’s not?” Dori quirked an eyebrow at the body on the floor, which, upon closer inspection in the dim light, looked an awful lot like the guard captain, Dwalin.

“Na, he’s just passed out. Idiot thought he could keep up with me and Bofur in the tavern.”

Dori couldn’t help but sigh again. Without saying another word he poured himself a mug of water and returned to bed. It was much too early to be dealing with Nori.

Perhaps come morning, once they’d roused Dwalin enough that he resembled more of a dwarf and less of a living corpse, he’d bring up the idea of Nori finding his own small place. He could have a kitchen of his own to leave suspect things inside.

Dori drifted back to sleep with a smile on his face, dreaming of a Nori free kitchen.


	3. Explosions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - ‘I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - contains reference to vomiting.

“Ya sure?” Dwalin asked, nervous gaze skittering between Nori and the bundle on the table before them.

“Course I’m sure,” Nori’s hands barely shook as he reached out.

“How sure?”

“Like 75% that it won’t, y’know, explode on us.”

“Explode?” Dwalin squeaked at a pitch Nori never knew the gruff, older dwarf could reach, “They do that?”

“That’s what Bofur said, and if anyone would know it’s him,” Nori shrugged, nimble fingers unfastening pins and pulling aside cloth, nose wrinkling at the smell, “Ok, so I’ll lift, you wipe, then we’ll get everything wrapped up again. Ready?”

Dwalin nodded, poised with a warm, damp cloth in hand.

Carefully lifting the squirming babe, Nori tugged away the soiled nappy, letting Dwalin wipe the royal backside before laying out a fresh cloth to wrap and pin back into place.

“There,” Nori grinned, lifting young Fíli to blow raspberries on his little belly, “That wasn’t so bad, was it? Not even the threat of an explo– ”

Before he could finish the sentence, Fíli promptly threw up in Nori’s hair.


	4. Experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - ‘Please stop petting the test subjects’

“Nori? You home?” Dwalin called, frowning in confusion at the three pairs of tiny boots lined up neatly by the door.

“In here,” Nori called back, his voice coming from the livingroom.

Making his way to his boyfriend, Dwalin found Nori sitting cross legged on the floor, with Fíli, Kíli, and Ori sitting opposite him, happily munching on haribo.

“What are you doing?” he asked, dropping down to the floor next to Nori.

“Conducting an experiment,” Nori said absently, a look of concentration on his face as he reached out towards Kíli’s packet of haribo, only to have Fíli smack his hand away and scold him.

“Ask nicely,” the little blond frowned.

“May I have a sweetie, please?” Nori asked as nicely as he possibly could.

“Yes,” Fíli beamed, placing a fried egg into Nori’s waiting palm.

“What’s all this about?” Dwalin asked, thoroughly confused and slightly worried about the amount of sugar the little ones had consumed, Kíli already looked like he was starting to vibrate.

“Experiment,” Nori said, again, “I’m seeing how easy it is to actually take sweets from babies.”

“M’not a baby,” Fíli grumbled.

“Children then,” Nori corrected.

“And it’s not going as easy as you thought, I’m guessing?” Dwalin smirked at his boyfriend as Ori clambered into his lap.

“D’you wanna sweetie, Mista Dwalin?” Ori asked, holding out a ring to Dwalin.

“I’d love one, thank you, Ori,” Dwalin grinned, accepting the sweet when Ori’s little fingers held it to his lips.

“It’s going fine if I ask nicely,” Nori huffed in answer to Dwalin’s earlier question, glaring at the tattooed hand currently stroking his little brother’s hair, “Hey, quit petting my test subjects, how am I meant to get accurate results if you make them fall asleep on me?”

“Pretty sure it won’t be me that messes up your results,” Dwalin smiled nodding to the boys in front of them.

Kíli had finished the last of his haribo, and was now doing what Nori had failed at. Stealing Fíli’s.

“Fine, I give up,” Nori exclaimed, throwing his hands up in mock affront.

“Hey, Nori?” Dwalin called softly.

“What?” Nori pouted.

“You wanna take candy from a baby? Make sure they’re asleep first,” grinning, Dwalin tossed Ori’s remaining haribo at Nori, the youngster oblivious to the whole thing as Dwalin’s petting hand lulled him to sleep.

Nori couldn’t help but chuckle, he'd spent the afternoon trying and failing to do what Dwalin had done in less than five minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any good?  
> I'm not entirely awake right now, but decided to type this up before I forgot it.

**Author's Note:**

> None of these have really been edited other than being checked over in the transferring from notebook to laptop, so if you spot any mistakes please let me know.
> 
> You're welcome to come have a mooch [over on tumblr](http://sarcasticsmilerrandomness.tumblr.com/) if you want.


End file.
